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'I'm solo polyamorous - I only realised in my 30s but people don't get what it means'

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There's no rulebook for dating and this woman has proved it by transforming her whole lifestyle to accomodate her unconventional dating set-up.

World's away from her strictly conservative Christian upbringing, Tanya has gone from living a life of monogamy to now being pansexual with two partners. And she's actively dating others too.

Tanya defines herself as solo and pansexual with two official partners, but she has two friends-with-benefits relationships on the go too. It's a stark difference from how she previously experienced relationships but there's not a single thing she'd change about her extremely adventurous

She "pulls out all the stops" when it comes to self pleasure, but still has plenty of time for her four sexual partners. The 32-year-old occupational therapist defines her sex life as "fulfilling," "wholehearted," "curious" and "experimental".

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Tanya's sexual orientation means she is romantically and sexually attracted to people of all genders, regardless of their sex or gender identity.

The mental health worker says her relationships work as they are all built on trust, love, understanding and communication. "I have amazingly beautiful partners who are open, share their needs and desires, listen to my needs and desires and communicate consent," she told.

However this hasn't always been the case. Tanya only realised she was polyamorous three years ago, just before her 30th birthday, and realised she prefers to date multiple people. Before she previously lived a monogamous life, where she would be with just one partner at a time.

She says she lived that way due to her conservative Christian upbringing, but since revealing she was poly, Tanya has "never looked back". However as much as she loves her exciting love life, she's been heavily judged for her preferences. But she says she doesn't let it bother her.

"I think on the outside, it's easy to think that loving more than one person is only 'half love'; but that comes from how we were raised in a capitalist society. 'There is not enough for everyone', 'We cannot share', 'If you have something, it means there is less for me – however, this is just simply not the case!" She explained.

Tanya compared it to parenting and said: "If parents love all their children equally or you have enough love for 15 friends, you can have enough love for multiple partners."

Do you have a story to share? Email niamh.kirk@reachplc.com

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